Fire your villains

Fire Your Villains!

9 mins read

Heather Monahan’s journey to hosting her own podcast started when she typed a simple question into Google: “How do you sell books?”

What did it say?  “Be a guest on podcasts.”

So, she just started calling everyone she knew and said, “Hey, get me on podcasts.”

Confidence Builder #1: Ask for What You Want

The Lady Gang Show booked her.  And the episode quickly hit Top 10.

Heather took a screenshot of the Top 10 ranking, and sent it to the CEO of PodcastOne.  She asked for a meeting to thank him.  He accepted, and she knew this was an opportunity to ask for her own show.  You can probably guess what happened next!

He offered her a show on PodcastOne.  BOOM!  “Creating Confidence” was born.

The very first episode was a powerful interview with Gary V.  And live on air, Heather exercised that “ask” muscle again: “Would you have me as a guest on your show, Gary?”

Heather’s learned to capitalize on opportunities, because you might never get that moment again.  Her perspective on it is this: 

I’d rather get a “no” than to not know what might have happened if I’d asked!  To me that’s just not an option.

Just ask.  Because a “no” is better than an “I don’t know.”  And you’ll get more “yes”es than you might think!

Confidence Builder #2: Double Down on YOU

One reason Heather’s loved hosting her podcast during a challenging year is that it’s reminded her to just keep going.  

During the pandemic, when so many people just felt like throwing their hands up and like they just didn’t know what to do or how to keep going.  And for Heather it was an opportunity to challenge herself to innovate and move forward and not give up.

When you need a kick in the booty?  Double down on you. 

If you really want to change your situation, you have to do things differently. Showing up and doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. 

Instead of tuning into the news and things that bring you down, turn off the noise.  Start paying attention to what information you’re allowing in. You need to fill yourself up with information that’s going to help and advance you and encourage you. 

First, you’ve got to hold yourself accountable.  So write it down. And then share it with somebody in your life who encourages you and supports you and wants you to do better. 

When you start to feel like you’ve lost your confidence, it’s key to take time to take care of yourself.  As a single mom to a 13-year old son, Heather knows how challenging that can be.  

But it’s the best thing you can do.  When you take care of yourself, you can show up as a better version of you for your children, your family, and the world around you.  You’ve to make yourself a priority.

I love this analogy: they tell you every time you get on an airplane, “Hey, if we run into trouble and that face mask comes down, do not give it to the person next to you, give it to you, save yourself first and then you can go save the world.”

And ask yourself: How do I want my child to show up? 

I want my son to find a strong woman who makes herself a priority and leads by example. Well, then I need to show up as that person.

How are you modeling for your child? Start showing up as that best version. 

Confidence Builder #3: Fire Your Villains 

When Heather heard those words… “you’re fired”… she realized that she’d attributed so much of her self-worth to her paycheck, her job title, her team, and all the external things.  When it was taken away, she hit a low-point in her life.

So she wrote “Confidence Creator” as a blueprint for herself of how to recreate her confidence from the inside – in an authentic and sustainable way.

She’d had a huge realization: she wasn’t fully showing up for herself because she didn’t want to upset the metaphorical “apple cart” at work.  Yes, she was successful.  She’d made it to the c-suite and broken that “glass ceiling”.  But she was being bullied by someone who was constantly looking down on her, undermining her and causing her to doubt herself.  So the day Heather was fired, what really happened was that Heather fired her number one villain!

The lesson in this is that when you get rid of negative people that are trying to hold you back and put you down, you set yourself up to take off. 

But how do you get rid of those negative people?  And what if you can’t fire your villains?  I had to ask…

If you can’t fire the villain (family, boss, etc) then you’ve got to:

 

  1. Create clear, strong boundaries.

 

Be crystal clear what’s acceptable.  No more apologizing.  “No” is a complete sentence.

Even if something was allowed in the past, today is a new day.  

Here’s an example: “I don’t allow people to speak to me like that. If you’d like to have conversations with me, we’re going to have to change this.”

Actively ask for a commitment to the change.

 

  1. Hold people accountable. 

 

If you see people slipping back in the bad behavior, let them know.  Say, “Hey, I’m confused. I let you know that this behavior doesn’t work for me.”

You’ve got to hold them accountable to change and to stick to what they’ve committed to.

It might not be easy, but it works.  And every time you stand up for yourself and stick to your boundaries, you build your confidence.

One of Heather’s key takeaway from every interview: “Nobody’s had it easy. When you look at people on the outside, we think that Gary V or Jesse Itzler, whoever it is, they just wake up every day and life is all roses and success and they have nothing to worry about. But it’s not true. Everyone has different challenges. Everyone is up against the wall. The key to success is finding a way to not give up on yourself when those moments occur.”

Subscribe to “Creating Confidence” to get cutting edge tactics, tips, and strategies to get your business to the next level. Start with Episode 25: “A Mindset for Success with Sara Blakely & Jesse Itzler” – it’s packed with rapid fire business knowledge and literally fall on the floor laughing funny.

 

May 2021 Issue

Michelle Shaeffer

Michelle Shaeffer is the co-founder of Planet Business, founder of the Empath Entrepreneur Academy, an award-winning blogger and podcast host. She’s the creator of Lingo Dynamics, the science of “words that feel.”

Michelle has mentored 25,000+ bloggers through blogging challenges and her popular podcast reaches 156 countries around the world. Through her blog, podcast and social media, she’s connected with hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs, guiding them towards creating profitable businesses they’re passionate about while making a positive difference in the world.

Podcasts:

http://theartofgivingadamn.com
http://theplanetbusiness.com

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